Those Blasted Bears - A Rant

Okay. I know I've always been thrilled with Sam's love of books. I have always dropped everything if Sam wants me to read to him. I never understood that the repetition of children's stories could make me feel so insane. Reading a book once is sweet. Reading it 1,264 times a week can wear on a person's soul. But there is one book that makes my blood run cold. I see him coming toward me, happily, carrying that horrible book. No amount of begging will change his mind, and I have to read it again: The Three Bears.

I never had a problem with Papa, Mama, and Baby Bear before this. They were just one of many little stories most people have memorized. But reading this book 20 times a day has changed me, and raised some questions in my mind.

Honestly, why is Goldilocks so rude? Who just wanders into a random house in the woods and starts busting up the place? What is wrong with her? And why doesn't she try the Baby Bear's things first? Why does she think she needs the biggest bowl, chair, and bed? YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, GOLDILOCKS!! You try them over and over and they never work. And only a sociopath can break into someone's house and feel so relaxed about it, she falls asleep.

I can almost believe that Papa and Mama Bear can tell a bite has been taken from their porridge. But how in the world can they tell someone has been sitting in their chairs? Just how obsessed with chairs can two people be? So obsessed they notice that before their child's chair, right next to them, broken to bits on the floor?

Nothing in this story makes sense, people. It completely drives me mad. I tried explaining this to Eric, who didn't understand. Then he noticed the crazed look in my eyes. He made the book go away. I don't want to know what happened to it. Last night Sam pulled all of his Little Golden Books off the shelf, looking for it. When he couldn't find it he simply brought me the entire pile. I didn't have to read The Three Bears. Instead, I had to read 14 other stories that are slowly making me lose touch with reality.

I am SO happy that Sam loves books!