Thankful

Just a few of today's blessings:

-sleeping in
-reading books
-watching Thanksgiving specials
-taking naps
-eating all of our traditional favorites
-walking to the park

And we haven't even had dessert yet! I hope everyone reading this feels as thankful as I do today.

Samuel Griswold

I know, it has been over a week. We have been unbelievably busy! On top of all of the appointments and family gatherings, I have been decorating the house for Christmas. It goes against everything I believe to decorate before Thanksgiving. However, our December is going to be so crazy I was worried the decorating would never get done. So it was now or never!

Part of decorating for Christmas includes watching Christmas movies. On Monday night we all settled in to decorate the tree as we watched a heartwarming classic - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

It is so fun to see Sam's demented sense of humor grow. When Clark was on the ladder stapling his sleeve to the house Sam couldn't stop laughing. Sam loved it when Clark slid off the roof, caught himself on the rain gutter, and eventually fell into the front bushes.

As it turns out, Sam is a fan of classic slapstick. When Clark pulled down the attic stairs and was knocked flat on his back when they hit him in the face, Sam started to get hysterical. Once in the attic, there is the scene where Clark does the old step-on-the-end-of-a-board-and-get-smacked-in-the-face routine. It happens three times in a row, and Sam was just beside himself. He was laughing so hard he could hardly open his eyes to watch.

I have a feeling the rest of our Christmas movies just aren't going to be able to stand up to Chevy Chase's shtick!

Grandpa Karma

As the baby of my family, I've always had a lot of attention. It carried through to adulthood - until Sam was born. Since he's arrived I am simply his chauffeur and public relations rep.

I've gotten used to it but it is still a little annoying. Grandpa Mark, trying to find a time we could meet for lunch, explained, "I would really like to see Sam." Once we set a date, he said happily, "I'm really looking forward to seeing Sam." Sigh.

Well, this morning I let Sam know about our lunch plans.

"Sam, we're going to go have lunch with Grandpa Mark!" I enthused.

"NO," he replied emphatically. "No Grandpa Mark. I have lunch with Tina."

HA!

Rough Waters

I think the only way to tell this story is to just jump right in.

Last August Eric, Sam and I spent a fun long weekend at the cabin. Eric took Sam out in the boat on our first day. Sam loved it! I am afraid of water and so I couldn't go along. After the first day, we were either too busy or the weather was too wet for them to go out again.

On the last day of our trip I was packing and cleaning up. Eric saw that the sun was shining and the lake was calm. I agreed that it would be easier for me to clean by myself. Eric put our smallest life jacket on Sam and they headed out in the boat.

As I puttered around, making beds and folding clothes, I saw that the sky was getting dark. I glanced out at the lake and didn't see the boat. I always worry too much and so I called Eric on his cell phone. He answered, cheerfully told me that they had just started back from the other side of the lake, and they were having a great time.

I forced myself to stop worrying. Then the rain started. It was a sudden, violent downpour. I stood at the window and watched and watched for the boat. I couldn't see it. Twice I went down to the edge of the lake to look. The rain was so heavy, I was soaked within seconds of being outside. I had to shield my eyes to get a good look at the lake, and still I couldn't see their boat. I called Eric's phone over and over and never got an answer.

I kept going back inside, telling myself that I always overreact. I watched the minutes turn into an hour as I waited. Finally, standing at the window, I saw a small movement through the neighbor's trees out on the lake. I recognized our boat. My mind went blank with fear when I saw that no one was in it.

I ran back to the lake, slipping and sliding down the steep embankment. I had a brief moment of relief when I saw Sam's head rise from inside the boat, and then fear again when I saw for certain that he was the only one in it. Then the wind pushed the boat to the side and I saw Eric in the water, one hand on the boat, swimming and pushing its heavy form ahead of him.

I splashed out into the lake. I could hear Sam crying over the wind and the rain. As I got closer I saw that he was shivering uncontrollably and there was absolute terror in his little face. I got close enough to drag the boat the rest of the way to shore. Exhausted, Eric could hardly make it the last twenty feet. We made it back into the cabin and Eric told me what had happened.

They were on their way back when the rain started. Eric had no problem rowing through that until the wind picked up. He hadn't made it very far from the other side of the lake before Sam stood up right when a gust of wind hit the boat. It was enough to throw both Eric and Sam into the water.

As best as he can remember, Eric was underwater for two or three seconds. He said it felt like forever. The worst part was when he came up to the surface, gasping for air, and he didn't see Sam. Then Sam's life jacket did its job and Eric saw him bob to the surface. Luckily, the boat hadn't completely flipped over and was now floating right-side up. This is the part I still can't figure out. Somehow, as he tread water fully clothed, Eric was able to lift Sam up with one arm and throw him over the side of the boat. Sam weighs 40 pounds without wearing a life jacket and being soaking wet. Eric has always been strong, but I can't imagine how he was able to do that.

There was no way for Eric to get into the boat and he'd lost both of the oars, anyway. His only option was to push the boat to shore. He'd make it about 10 feet, swimming and pushing as hard as he could, and the wind would push him back another five feet. He called for help over and over but no one could hear him over the storm. They were the only ones on the lake. It didn't take long for his legs to go numb but he managed to continue forward.

They did make it back. We dried off, finished packing the car, and went home. But to this day I feel a clutching in my chest if the image of both of them in the water works its way to the front of my mind. It terrifies me to think of how easily I could have lost my family.

Why am I talking about this now? I write these posts for fun, and to keep grandparents up-to-date, but my main purpose is to write all of this for Sam. More than anything, this is a record of his life. I'd feel somehow dishonest if I left out such a major event. Also, Sam still thinks about it. Just last night we looked at a picture of a boat in one of his books. "Boat in the water!" Sam said. "And in the rain. But Sam's okay and Dad's okay."

Yes, buddy, you are both okay. I haven't let a day go by since without thanking God for bringing both of you back to me.

Memories

I have a really, really great memory. I don't remember useful things (such as anything ever learned in any class) but I can tell you what I was wearing that night in 2001 when I saw that band for the first time. And if it was snowing and what was playing on the radio on the way home. I've always considered it a curse. I'm beginning to wonder if this is another trait Sam and I have in common. He's surprised me a few times by blurting out things we did months and months ago.

Last night we were in the car after dark. Sam was in the backseat chattering away when he suddenly paused and said, "I see Bay."

"You see Bay? Where?" I asked.

"The lights there," Sam answered.

I couldn't figure out what he was talking about until I looked up. There, on all the streetlights, were lit-up Christmas decorations. Could he really remember last Christmas at Grandma Barb's house? He wasn't even two then! And he is spot on - Christmas decorations are one of the first things that come to mind when I think of Grandma Barb.

I kept talking to Sam about the lights. Sure enough, he insisted that the holly and snowmen made him see Bay. What a sweet kid!

It Was Really Cold

Yesterday morning Sam and I decided to share an orange. Our refrigerator is very cold and the oranges had been on the coldest shelf. Sam bit into his piece. His eyes grew big and he shivered. "Brrr!" he said.

"They're cold," I agreed.

"Yeah, cold!" he said.

"REALLY cold!" I added.

"So cold, I want a hat!" Sam enthused.

He never fails to surprise me!

Sam The Critic

On Friday evening, Eric and I braved the snow (!) to take Sam out to his first movie. We saw Madagascar 2. Sam had seen the first one in passing and had enjoyed the animals. This one was a lot scarier than we had anticipated but Sam seemed to think it was okay. He wasn't heavy enough to hold down his seat so he spent most of the movie folded into it, his knees on his chest, watching the action between his shoes.

Trying to get Sam's opinion of the movie, this morning we had the following conversation:

Mom: Sam, remember the movie we went to?
Sam The Critic: Jackie?
Mom: No, Mom and Dad took you.
STC: Oh. Yeah, movie.
Mom: What did you like about the movie?
STC: Lion, giraffe, zebra, and T-Rex.
Mom: T-Rex?
STC: Well, hippos.
Mom: What?
STC: Lion, giraffe, zebra, and hippo.
Mom: Ah. What part of the movie was funny?
STC: Funny...laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Mom: Yes. What made you laugh?
STC: more ha ha noises, this time with his tongue hanging out
Mom: Okay, what didn't you like about the movie?
STC: I liked the movie.
Mom: I know, but was there something about it you didn't like?
STC: I liked the movie.

I gave up the interview, disappointed. But really, what was I expecting? My two-year old to wax poetic about the psychotic penguins?

Now that we know Sam is a fan of the cinema, I am dreading the long winter just a little less. There's nothing like a matinee to break up a long day!

November 4, 2008

A letter to my son:

By the time you are studying American history, yesterday will be old news. You and your classmates won't remember a time when this country had yet to elect an African-American president.

Trust me, little dude, yesterday was a big deal. As you and I ate cereal at our kitchen table, Americans got in line to wait for three hours to place their votes. It was the first time in a voting booth for many of them. While we made snowmen with your Play Doh and danced to the Wiggles voters were turning out in record numbers.

You were there when your dad and I placed our votes. You were in the elementary school gym, sitting next to your dad, as we both confidently filled in the ovals next to Barack Obama's name. You were there as voters and volunteers chatted happily, no matter who they were voting for. Even in our tiny voting location, people were excited.

You were in bed by the time we turned on the TV to watch the election results come in. You were still peacefully sleeping, wearing dinosaur pajamas, when your dad and I heard, "Ladies and gentlemen, if I may interrupt...Barack Obama is the next President of the United States." I cried, little man. I cried for every child in this country who will now KNOW that there is no limit to their potential. I cried for the elderly men and women who never believed they'd see an African-American president in their lifetime. And I cried for me. I am just one of the many people across this country who feels that finally my voice has been heard.

This country is in rough shape. Barack Obama is just one man and I can't imagine how he'll be able to meet all of our expectations. All we can do is hope for the best. And today, for the first time in a long time, we have all been given the chance to hope.

Yes, Sam. We can.

It's A Wiggly World

Yesterday I got a text from Eric that he was on his way home from work, and he was "bringing home some toys for Sam that will make his head explode."

Funny, Eric never mentioned what they would do to MY head.

His co-worker gave him two big bags of Wiggles-themed toys. Sam is a BIG fan of their music. He doesn't really watch their show but we listen to the CDs every day and his Wiggles books are some of his favorites. There were so many toys we pulled a few out to give to Sam and are saving the rest for Christmas (or a desperate day).

Sam now has a big mat that he can step on to play the same four Wiggles songs over and over and over. He also has four dolls of the Wiggles characters...which play the same four songs over and over and over. For nearly two hours last night Sam sang and danced.

I just got the new toys out for Sam again and he is so happy. As I've been writing this, I've been treated to the talent of Greg, Anthony, Murray, and Jeff.

There is no saving me now.

Overthinking It

This morning as I was in my room getting ready Sam was keeping me company. He picked up a nickel off of my nightstand. "Money!" he said, and started to dash off with it.

"Sam!" I laughed. "Where are you going with that money?"

"Dad money," he replied.

"That's Mom's money, buddy!" I answered.

"No," he shook his head. "Money is Dad's."

I can look at this in a few ways:

A) The nickel was, in fact, Eric's. Sam saw Eric put it on the nightstand.
B) Sam is two and very few of the things he says actually make sense.
C) Due to my decision to be a stay-at-home mom, Sam has started to believe that men are solely responsible for earning and having money. Women do not have money.

I haven't had a lot of mom guilt lately so it should come as no surprise that I automatically chose option C.

It is so important to me that my kids don't see their gender as a defining attribute. That women can be construction workers and men can be at-home dads. (My husband is a nurse, for pete's sake.) That one of the greatest blessings of living in this country is having the freedom to make the choice that is best for one's self and family.

Children learn what they see. I work a very part-time job right now and will eventually return to work full-time. But in the meantime, how do I show Sam that a life's work is more than a paycheck? That how our family operates is just one of the many ways moms, dads, and kids can live and be happy?

Ugh. I'm not going to be able to stop worrying about this and I'm having trouble even pinpointing just what my concern is.

I blame the time change.